ashley and jimmy are about to have sex on degrassi.... EVERYONES GETTING LAID BUT ME
Ok so I could say "im sorry"...but instead ill just say "unsupervised...jager...military guys...green school bus called the juice box...and HUGE dick"
I miss your penis. I'm telling you this as a friend, like its just a really great penis. You should be proud of it.
I'm not really into her personality. Not that we've ever looked for personality in women.
That's only a quality to look for in a second marriage.
No. He burped at a 3 year old, roared at him and proceeded to scream at the kid's parents to watch their child. The manager of Olive Garden was on our side.
Someone spilled vodka all over the elevator floor. Bring straws.
You asked me if I was judging you for being drunk, and if I can hypnotize you make sober.
I had a drink called "the white nun." It tasted like Marshmallows, and celibacy.
I'll just go on tinder. Seeking strong male to help take apart ikea furniture and move. I'll touch your dick.
You took one look at him and said "let's hope I don't remember this tomorrow" then you took another shot and chased it with a beer.. I guess it was a success.
OH MY GOD MY UBER DRIVER IS PEEING BEHIND A DUMPSTER
Still got in the car though
Last 4 google searches: class c felony, scary ghosts, peanut butter jelly time, Lindsey lohans vagina
can you take a pic of your glorious tits but not send it just yet? I need motivation to finish this bull shit presentation.
in the past 2 days I've ruined2-3 lives, made 2 men quit the bar, started a Wednesdays only affair, ended it, ruined that engagement and had my tires slashed by a jealous bouncer. please stop letting me out....
I could hear it slapping against his thighs under the robe!!!!!!!!! You are a lucky girl!
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