He said he's gonna start calling me "Benny" because we're "friends with bennyfits"
she was licking his armpits.
asian porn is just fucking weird. End of story.
I want to be done crawling through windows but the sex is too good to stop...but I'm running out of excuses for where the bruises on my legs are coming from.
yeah they are definitely having sex in that car. joe just yelled through the window telling them to do the "titanic hand print thing"
So. Do you think marshmallow vodka in hot chocolate while eating a graham cracker would = s'mores?
In some strange universe, yes
A man just poked my foot with his crutches while I'm shitting. Is that how the disabled gays ask for a glory hole blow jay?
Tommarow we shall sacrifice the freshmen to the sun god
i woke up with 5 inch heels locked on my feet and my car keys missing. this is gonna be an interesting walk home
You mistakenly try to piss in a cactus bush ONE TIME and are forever dubbed cactus ass
he just used a semicolon in the middle of a sext
my mom just came into my room and handed me a news paper article about women on the verge of a drinking problem... i can already tell its not about to be sunday funday
A condom was pulled out of your vagina by a doctor today I do not think you can pull off "closet" hoe anymore
i almost got into an argument defending my life choices with a guinea pig eating chocolate cake at 4am
Seriously considering taking a nap at lunchtime in my car. That. Hung. Over.
These business classes have improved my drug business ten fold
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