I just encouraged Kelsey to make out with some guy for beer so I could take one, does this make me a pimp?
By definition I think it does.
So this is what it feels like to be all that is man.
i can now get sex on a playground off my list of things to do in life.
so later when i'm crying over him remind me that he once called his penis "senor weeper"
He kissed a someone with a penis
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm watching Intervention to get pumped up for tonight
Every time I type "should" my phone autocorrects to "shouldn't". even my phone knows my ideas are terrible.
I have fb friend requests from two random swedish brothers... Must have something to do with that hostel I stumbled into on mardi gras
I wasn't so much your wingman at that point as I was the interpreter of you point at shit and mumbling to the cab driver.
PLEASE DON'T BE HEARTLESS COME AND GET ME FROM THE BAR I'M HIGH AS SHIT AND I LOST MY SHOES
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Last night was so embarrassing. I got like almost blackout drunk and threw up in my hand and then blamed it on someone else.
Drunk wound on my leg hast healed and neither has my dignity
Please tell me I made it home with both shoes on
Nope
I woke up with masking tape on my nipples this morning........... WHY DO BAD THINGS HAPPEN TO GOOD PEOPLE
I vote we just hike, drink, and destroy dick
Ever been to a strip club with one stripper? I have. And she sucked.
Randomize