well, if it gives you any insight into how crazy it was, i am currently wikipediaing "anullment"
Shark Week may as well be Shark Weed.
At one point last night while tipping the bartender you looked at him and said "If I need money later, I'm taking this back"
Plus she can make a mean sandwich! That's all I really need. Well that and foot jobs...
Just mixed vicodin and mucinex. This cold just got fun.
Just saw the guy with the plastic bag on his head riding his bike again...
Those two lesbians inspired me. A whole new way to roll. Fuck shots. Gallons of vodka is the new tequila.
I asked if he wants to help me spring forward at 2am on Sunday. He seems down.
It's whatever. I just want to see his dick again
He staggered in with his pants around his ankles and yelled that he lost his pants
I tried eating pop-rocks while giving him a bj, I honestly think I was more disappointed with the results than he was.
Woke up. Found about 20 condoms upstairs. A hole in the couch. Bread on the floor. Going back to sleep.
You took off your shirt and pulled out a bottle of cherry uv and a slushee. That's when I knew you came to party
NO NINJA FIGHTING AT THE GAS STATION
How was it?
Incredible. Everyone in the world should be having the kind of sex I've been having.
He should write a pamphlet or something...
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