I wanna bring you to show and tell
I changed my tire completely alone.. I could totally win survivor
Its my greatest physical accomplishment
I'm gonna keep this simple. I threw up in your pillow case. Sorry.
he suggested we appoligize to eachother. then do blow and painkillers & have ourselves a make-up party.
You threw up in a Dixie cup last night. Oddly, you just gained major points in my book for that.
tip of the day : never have sex with a full bladder. it WILL lead to complications and a very unhappy partner.
he puked in his toast at dennys. after snoopdogg high fived him. couldn't be prouder to be his bro in law.
just saw your exgirlfriend at the mall. her sister is pretty hot.
called that a week into the relationship. like driving off the lot with a 2010 and seeing the 2011 models coming in on the truck.
Thank you, bloody toiletpaper I found in the hamper. I was worried that today was going to be boring.
my co-worker, his best friend who also works with us, an my baby daddy, ive turned love triangle into a retarded shape with to many sides to pronounce
It's christmas eve and my mom blacked out before me. If she beat me at that, what have I been learning at college?
I think ur a lot drunker then u think u are. That girl has the body of a cartoon character and not in a good way.
I was expecting it to be of the "I am your vagina's reckoning" caliber.
I just bought the spice girls album. We will be doing music videos in the near future. You are our baby spice-- don't fight it
He watches the nature channel every time I am here. It's like a manipulation technique because baby zebras will get me every time.
Randomize