I need to remember that good judgment goes out the window after the 7th shot and the 3rd Lady GaGa song.
I want something that's relevant to him banging her right after I did. Like "runner-up"
critical mistake not lubing the nipples
As I climbed in the bathroom window from the room I noticed both him rommates staring and talking about me in the hall...
"too many" and "free shots" never belong in the same sentence
My roomate asked me why she found condoms in the pringles container. I don't know what to tell her
First time on E and Chris took me to a petsmart during puppy day. I might die of pure awesomeness.
Should I take my grandma to a keg tomorrow or not? Serious question
One guy got his nose broke and was playing with it. Then another guy was playing beer pong off his horse.
Seriously, I woke you up with tacos, I think I deserve the best girlfriend ever award
Also this is super embarrassing but sorry for licking your chest
I think the sex rug burn on my back is infected, can you check it out when you get home?
think before you get married my friend it's my birthday and just got done jacking off
Well just give me the address, I'll bring the bourbon. If they let that into mental institutions
Can’t fucking wait for Tuesday night. Have another situation that popped up. I swear my life is like a cross between a soap opera and a porno
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