I just puked while everyone was releasing balloons. Im to hungover for this memoial service. Rest in peace great gramps.
That still doesn't explain why you thought it was a good idea to paint a cow on my guitar
you flashed the cab driver so we didn't have to pay the fare and then you decided you were on a roll so you flashed the guy at the maccas drive through... safe to say your boob job was the best idea ever!!
Apparently she held up my head the entire 40 minutes, convincing the cab driver that I was okay
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
my bartender licked my nipple. never stay after hours
I'm going to die alone in my chair and get eaten by my cat. That kind of break up.
I fucked a guy that's in Sports illustrated. I'm officially ready for college.
We were suposed to have a 3some in their bathroom but it just turned into us 2 making out while he watched like a little kid on christmas morning
If we can't get laid at a bar crawl, we should just quit life.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I sincerely thought making it to McDonalds by 10:00am was a shoe-in but it appears that I need to adjust my zoom when looking at the map before walking to places.
Dude. That Grinch had his priorities right when he was worried that there might be a cash bar at that town celebration.
So much Jack, so little girl.
I got my period today and I cried tears of joy. And then just cried because my cramps are actually killing me from the inside out.
I was giving him head and he slipped one of those hats with propellors on top on my head.
He told us when he was 10 he started shoving bars of soap up his ass for pleasure so i winked at him
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