Please tell me I didn't pass out while we were having sex last night... and if so I am sooooo sorry.
I just need someone to hold me and tell me i dont turn boys gay
I think the phrase "baptist college" should be an oxymoron.
i just taught a 3 year ld how to do a jager bomb, i cant wait to have kids
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
When he came he sounded like a flock of birds hitting puberty
we literally spent four hours convincing you that all 5 of your toes were there. no more everclear on a tuesday.
Just told him about my threesome. if that doesn't make him want to date me nothing will.
Her bed looked like it had just hosted a water balloon fight. It was that good.
Just dont tell him. Tell him you colored your vagina for breast cancer awareness month. He will understand.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The good news is that I can 100% reassure you that you did not get knocked up by some creepy Italian dude named Sal Manella last night.
The bad news is that you will never know the name of the guy who may have gotten you pregnant last night because he clearly gave you a fake name, sweetie.
This girl just texted me asking me to drop her cheese. What the fuck for that mean?
Thursday could be nutella day. You could make me a nutella sandwich and then fuck me senseless
we panicked because we couldn't find you anywhere, but then we found you tripping in the bathtub with Marie's cat. there was no water. you thought there was water, though.
Last night you dunked donut holes in spinach dip, ate it, threw up, and continued eating. I cant keep up with your drunk eating skills.
I was wondering where the donuts went.
He knocked me over backwards in my chair. I had a beer in each hand. Didn't spill a drop.
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