Hey theres a creepy ass guy stalking our house.i would look alive geting in 2nite.
dude can i febreze my hair or is that slutty?
I just found out my birth date is Pick Your Poison Day. Goodbye, conscience, forever. I was born to live like this.
He was eating her out on the elevator. What a good man.
I think im drinking tonight later on...which is good cuz i walked pass the liquor aisle the other day and i swear i heard a kid call me a pussy
You're going to have to buy me a lot of drinks before the bee suit goes on...
Half of elefante. Gelafin galaxy
Ive only seen a dude masterbate on a train twice, once on the Jtrain and once on the Ftrain... trust me you never wanna see where the subway turns around.
I tried to bribe him with road head and his toothbrush.
thats because you have standards... and i have a thing for guys that give me free drugs.
Mom chose Thanksgiving to tell me the reason I am here is because she was too tired to give my dad a BJ and too drunk to make him pull out.
Dude, she got "I party too much" skinny. She looks like a recovering drug addict.
Let's try finding a bar where there aren't people who want to hang me from a tree by my nutsack
As much of a hooker as I am you don't slam where you drink
just so you know. the medical term for period cramps is mettelschmerz.
glad to know something that causes such misery in my life has such a laughable name.
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