Dude, we have the same penis size. Best friends for life.
I've had a Margarita with salt, but I have to say I was impressed by the Stoli and Sprite rimmed with adderall
she had no gag reflex. and is an abercrombie model. i love college.
she was pretty happy for someone in the middle of a herpes outbreak, how was i supposed to know?
There comes a time where you just have to sit back and watch the drunken idiots pee on each other
they were having sex on the toilet apparently and everytime someone knocked they flushed. it was like an auditory scoreboard of sex duration.
hey give me heads up if you're feeling vulnerable tomorrow night
I should probably go to bed before I start to care about why I started drinking in the first place.
She called to say her plane was running late and i had 30minutes to get to the airport for bathroom sex
tom claimed she had a star tattooed around her buttonhole. i am not prepared for this era of skankyness
I woke up naked and only wearing cowboy boots, wrapped in a curtain that was still attached to the pole
Shia LaBeouf arrested in austin for public intoxication. JUST DO IT
after stripping the bed and soaking it with the "pet spot remover" I have, I decided in the best interest of my mattress and our drunk friends bladders, i should invest in rubber sheets.
I got myself off in the shower last night for the first time ever! I just looked like I was playing a game of twister.
I love you but this is the first Saturday I have ever spent at the police station. And where are my boxers?
Randomize
