Emee failed...She used my genitals as a tampon
So I was just looking through the calendar on my phone seeing what day new years was on & on dec 31st at 9am it says "nude champagne toast". Guess we have to do it.
i just bought weed at the top of a mountain, best decision of our lives to go to school in colorado.
how in the hell can u get pulled over when ur car is parked.
when she said she's going upstairs to put her "play clothes" on, I knew either she was a pervert or a kindergarten teacher. Either way, I wasn't going to leave. She's a pervert by the way.
I just want to go some place where I can have a nice night. Grind on men who speak no English, make out with a girl, and not feel judged.
i can't find my house
we droppd you off right in front! i even walked you to the steps less then 3 mins ago.
i'm pretty sure my house moved.
There's a big hole in the wall at the dining hall. I hope we didn't do
Is 10 pm too early to booty call a freshman?
The great thing about vietnam is that if I'm drunk during the day people just think I'm being white
I'm handcuffed to your bathroom sink. Save me.
Don't look him in the eyes, it like looking at the sun but instead of burning your retinas it makes you wet and vulnerable
His new place is a molesden. Like a hole in the ground. It's frightening how oddly private it is.
It rubs the lotion on it's foreskin...
I'm sitting next to the guy that peed in our drying machine
I'm all about clean living these days
You started your day with fried chicken and a bloody
... after you woke up in your own urine
Randomize
