Don't you send me to vm
Sandra Bullock looks like the most recent Michael Jackson
Even if you were sober, spitters are STILL quitters, end of story.
Yeah he kicked my ass... He probably wouldnt have hit me as hard though if I wasnt lauging and yelling " I fucked your sister I fucked your sister" over and over again.
the date was going great.. until he pulled down his pants and asked if there was any hair in between his cheeks.
I swear the crows are laughing at me.
You my friend are stoned into submission
Oh god. Just tried to hail a pizza delivery car. Awkward.
International sake day = success
I'd like to request an "its my birthday discount", and for you to bartend shirtless tonight ;)
i want to have awesome sex and feel fuzzy.
Everyone loves nachos, first of all. Second, Ke$ha is entirely appropriate for the age grou too young to realize she probably has Hep C.
Hot dogs and hydrocodine is NOT the combo of champions
He drops f bombs like every other word and he just gave me 127 shares of tmobile stock for free. I feel like I should pay him back in blow jobs or something.
I just threw up birthday cake.. who's birthday was it?
He climbed over 2 rows of the cab and told some random girl we were riding with that he would be in the back seat if she wanted to have sex
I really wanna treat my body good. Because i plan on doing drugs
Randomize
