Omg just saw this kid I went to elementary school with at the bar and he used to be cool and I was so awkward but now I have boobs so I WIN.
Someone left a shot of disaronno in a champagne glass here this morning... flip a coin?
I just wiped my vajayjay with snow. Bad idea.
The yard is growling at me WHAT DID U GIVE ME?
I sang "A Whole New World" while I took his virginity
That is awesome that you did that.
Yeah to go race car driving with a 54 yr old gastroenterologist. I really wish you'd come to have that drink with me Wednesday
I got you a "sorry you think I'm pregnant" present
I should become her mentor. Get her life back together for her
You mean sponsor?
I told him that I wanted his dick like I wanted a jumbo hot dog. There something wrong with my priorities
Justin just used the term "industrial strength colon blow".
Made eye contact with his twin sister the day after he gave me a lifechanging blowjob. Do you think she knows?
I just remember banging him and then at some point I went and took a shower and went and laid in the closet
a guy messaged me on POF to ask if I knew of any places that were hiring. And was being completely deadass serious. I'm so done
Well we can add this to the list of 'where the hell did that bruise come from?'
I think the heterosexuals across the hall are negotiating about breeding. How do I figure out which one is against it and back them up?
Randomize
