Question for you. Are boobs and hands polarly charged, thus causing the inevitable joining of the two. If so are some breasts simply charged backwards
I give him blow jobs while he watches sports.. how am I not his gf yet??
Don't ask how, but I'm pretty sure my name is now on a lease to a taco bell franchise in maryland...
i've hooked up with him and three of his roommates and not a single one of them knows about it..think its safe to say i found the silver lining in a boys inability to communicate
She's going to get preggers, drop out of school, and end up working at mcdonalds. Great for our mcdoubles habit but bad for her future.
i think i have weasels eating my brain. Also there is a skeleton staring at me from the back of the bathroom door. it's an awkward vomit. come find me please
Yeah kinda weird. My grandparents are here for dinner and I'm chilling on the couch close to tripping out on pain killers. My pap asked me how works going and I prettymuch drooled on myself as an answer.
Walmart at night is scary enough without having to run into people you've slept with
Are you still crying. What are you doing. Have 10 shots of tequila.
Your dress got me laid by one of Obama's Secret Service members. Patriotic duty, check.
I just rolled an Obama blunt and a Romney shame joint for tonight. Vote wisely.
I'll pick you up. Avoid slightly awkward no-we're-not-dating-but-I'm-still-screwing-your-son-after-2-years parental run-ins.
Everyone is like kids first day of school and I'm over here like I need to stop sleeping with random
Look, all I'm looking for is a good time and someone whose chest I can bury my face in
I’m going to give his broken heart CPR with my vagina
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