piano lessons. No girlfriend. What's up.
we used that portable toilet as a cooler to keep coronas. next person who tells me hospitals arn't fun needs to come party in rm 180.
Its way too early to be sitting naked at his dining room table...
unrelatedly i think im gonna download boogie nights just to see mark wahlberg's penis
I come up with the best drinking games while babysitting
there may or may not be knives in your bed. I would check
I feel like I was just dunked in a tub of beer and then thrown in a giant dryer with rocks in it.
Rachel and his cat watched us 69 last night. I pretended to be embarrassed the next day... But to be honest I like an audience
Sometimes things go your way and sometimes you get hit on by a fat drunk girl.
Y'all best leave this "I can only have a couple drinks" shit at the door. U don't drive to Yukon to have a shot. I'm getting u fuckers drunk.
I am currently in a U-Haul truck right now. Going to a party. I hate myself.
It was super embarrassing when I had to tell my brother, in front of my mother, that my wifi password was Drinkupbitches. Thanks for providing that lovely family moment.
I'm more of a "get high and take a bath" kinda guy.
every day is bullshit and fuck everyone. That's my motto for the week
OMG. When you threw the used condom on your floor you threw it in my purse!!! I just went to grab my headphones and it was stuck to them!
Randomize
