i think he might wanna be bffs again, but idk cause we're friends again but we haven't been bff since like a year. i don't know what to think...
wow. what a nail bitter. i need popcorn for this. brb
its awkward enough using a urinal next to your dad but its worse finding out hes one of the guys who goes no hands and moans it out
i may or may not have puked on your loofa in the shower.
As I was buying milk at the market, the lady at the checkstand said, "what? No alcohol today?" have I really earned THAT reputation?
i just had to google what happens if your dog eats your nuva ring
I told her that I thought she needed an oral mammogram. With me being pre-med she bought it.
thats it. im teaching my cat how to use a fire alarm
omg. i wish i could describe to you the number of things that were just in my vagina. i feel like i got gangbanged by construction workers.
Got laid in my rudolph onesie for the second year in a row. New tradition? Absolutely.
Well his arms broken so they only cuffed his good wrist to his belt. That's how he cast smacked me in custody.
Don't wake me up to tell me to cook for you because you don't like taco meat.
This is it. This is the birthday cake that gets me laid.
I'm torn between wanting to wear lipstick and wanting to make out with strangers.
I hate being on my period . Did you know that by the time I'm 30 I would've wasted 1,176 days of my life I could've had sex but couldn't bc I was on my period.
Turns out naked twister is less fun than it sounds. I can never look Lee in the eye again. But Aimee's boobs are glorious.
Randomize