We're talking about addictions in class and there's a girl 2 rows in front of me on Farmville. Hello, example.
Just because you're using the Hipstamatic app for your nude photo taking, it doesn't make your drunken blowjob pics any classier.
I did the seizure Bad Romance dance again last night, didn't I?
you were really good actually. your skill is increasing over time
My goal of the day is to not shit myself. That's it. Setting the bar real low
Pretty sure they aren't letting me back to karaoke night after I screamed "fuck every one of you tasteless hillbillies!!" because I felt they didn't clap loud enough for Jen.
I was more obsessed with the sweat stain on her back that was simultaneously shaped like a vagina and the virgin Mary.
I've only hooked up with engineers this year and it may be the best future financial decision I've ever made
My fucking earlobe is bruised what the hell
Just ate Panda Express. Fortune cookie had no fortune in it. I actually prefer this. Less broken dream potential.
I have need of you to return home with haste, as I require the magical capsules you possess to relieve the posterior pain I am living. I battle this demon with stubborn grit, however I feel that defeat is on the horizon.
No more pre-dentist shots, I just puked on my hygienist
That kid singlehandedly fucked the breakup right out of me. I'm only hooking up with Millenials from here on out.
My roommate just yelled at me for coughing. I'd like to yell at her for doing lines off our counter last night.
Nothing like ripping open the box with your keys on a sat R train and throwing back the morning after pill with some coconut water on my way to work at a fitness studio for free
Breakfast sounds amazing but can we do IHOP instead? I have to pick up a Plan B pill and there’s a CVS next to it
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