you think thats bad? Today I had to pop a zit on my sack.
I wish we could go back in time and find our best farts ever
It smells like Drakkar Noir and desperation out here.
That's why you should quit smoking.
I told him I had my daily dose of vitamin c so i wouldn't blow him
She's like a coupon for free blow jobs. No purchase necessary.
they just started filling water ballons with vodka.
on my way.
I just want to see him this morning so I can bask in my wasted accomplishment.
Did you seduce any young men into coming home to your love nest of poutine and jäger bombs?
His dick is as big as my 7" heels... Awkwardness is forgotten.
she pointed to my dick and said you are going to save the world
Just cried watching Wimbledon, worst comedown ever.
I survive off of bourbon and the tears of others only
Can we talk about how she only slept with you because you remind her of a member of a K-pop group?
Definitely ended up doing Coke with Chewbacca in the porta potty behind the haunted house.
I just bought six bottles of the 2 dollar vodka. oh yes there will be blood
Randomize
