I learned to sign I want to be on you today
Score
Deaf chicks here I come
she looked me in the eyes and called me a poet because i was singing lady gaga, then she fell over...
Even though he is humpbacked he is really good in bed.
i was so worried that when his hands were down my pants he was going to find the weed i stole from him
did mom hear me barking???
oooooh yeah. good luck explaining that one
sooo high. sooo many dog friends
But you have work tomorrow. And a whore to pick up. And a dinner to eat. And a vagina to slaughter. Your day is full!
I appreciate the concept of vaginal slaughtering.
Beer vodka and pink lemonade powder mixed together. So. Many. Penises. My vagina will be calling out to them tonight. Coooooooooooooome.
I just remember being happy that I got that toilet fixed so I had somewhere close to throw up
you put your hands over the taxi driver's eyes and shouted GUESS THE WAY TO THE CLUB
It felt as if we were fucking on a sea of baby feet and morgan freemans face hair
That shot was terrible
You were like one of those guys at carnivals that spit out fire..... Except it was throw up
There is a guy in class using a wine bottle as a water bottle. Welcome to the Faculty of Environment.
Munching saltines, sippin Gatorade, and trying not to get eaten by this small horse
I can't possibly be the only person who has ever eaten Cheetos with a spoon to avoid the powder getting in my fingers
You’re about to have a sober threesome with a rando at a Fenway bar?
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