Mel Gibson is dating a 24 year old
You're not Mel Gibson and I'm not 24.
We went to his house and he brought a jar of pickles to bed. I think im in love.
I never thought I would say the free bottle of grey goose was the problem but it was
You're cordially invited to the love nest for alcoholic and aquatic adventures. Also known as an all expense paid trip to my pool, alcohol, and vagina.
I ate cinnamon toast crunch. I'm officially out of the puke zone. Blackout drunk Friday. WHAT IS GOOD.
Well. I have your keys. You have my car. Looks like we have a drunkxican standoff.
If he's the sort of guy that will fuck in a public restroom, he's the sort of guy that will cheat on his gf. I'm goin for it.
I threw up in the kitchen on the floor and a guy tried cleaning it up with a spoon at a party.
I hope to God it's not the new neighbors having sex, because what I'm hearing sounds like a mildly defective vuvuzela or a cow giving birth.
Beard. Chest hair. Job.
The holy trinity.
I just talked with someone about real estate trends in Atlanta then got three blowjobs in a row. Boom.
Drugs and unwanted pregnancies are the only things that I'm good at. College comes in at a close third.
Come to my place after work and we can discuss our finances over a coors delight and a fire ball shot
You had blacked out Skype sex? Wow we live in the future
Congratulations you now have a pet Scotsman.
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