that's just what I need...drunk ass people throwin hatchets in the dark.
I think the phrase "bag of smashed assholes" describes it best
If you really hate me that much, you need to stop letting me put my penis inside of you. It sends the wrong message.
i just walked in on him masterbating..to a picture of me. that definitely has to be true love.
i was that girl throwing up in the urinal. it was a dark moment in my life.
ITS DAYLIGHT SAVINGS TIME SUNDAY EVERYTHING IS GOING TO BE OK AFTER ALL
its so sad we are done celebrating 21st bdays everytime one of us turned 21 everyone else got laid
Well she started to strip and when she slung her hair at me, she painted my face with sweat. A LOT OF SWEAT. It was a weird boner.
Ladies and gentlemen, the only person I know who would keg stand in pearls and a bow.
I know you're very busy with sleep and things, but when you wake up we need to talk about weirdly shaped penises.
Haha no we did it on his bed. Then rolled off into the bean bag. It was a strangely athletic performance on my behalf.
My idiot ex texted me on Valentine's day to tell me I was right, he did need a therapist.
I just quoted part of the Pokemon theme song in a sext... And it worked
That's Danny the boy who threw up in the Doritos bag
At 10 PM you were shit faced in the kitchen makin nachos... Naked. I wasn't sure what to do besides walk away...
Randomize
