My cousin just told me i smelled good. She must like the smell of cum.
whore
Instead of a promise ring i got my clit peirced, its a promise that ill always give you ass! =]
this is going to sound stupid but when I was drunk and thought I was a stripper where I did toss my pants?
She washed her feet in the sink at white castle. I want this girl in my life.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I wasn't sure how he was going to followup "so,i shot myself.." i guess "w a nail gun" is the best choice out of what I expected
allie, at least he made an effort and braided his goatee.
I burst into tears on the boat this morning because we bumped a duck in the head. I am way too hung over for today
Did you make me take pictures of your ass last night because you fucked on some wet paint or did i dream that?
sex in a tree stand. check.
you lucky bastard
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
When I say drunk I mean that in the process of filming a fratstar cooking show they threw a keg into the street where the police came to clean it up. now all they can say is "THE KEG GOT ARRESTED."
he had shaved armpits. I repeat: HE SHAVED. HIS. ARMPITS! First hookup of 2014 and it's with a weirdo. Alcohol:1 Me:0
Let's knock shit down like godzilla and have intense sex in the rubble
I'm high. ignore me
You started pulling out condoms from your fanny pack and threw them at all the couples on the beach
She puked in the bed, peed in the closet, and woke up on a Rubbermaid in the closet under the stair case
And somehow in between all the vomitting you managed to mumble "Well this is attractive!" And I swear that's when I fell in love. Best. First. Date. Ever!
Randomize