The best part of listening to lady gaga while high is that any word your brain puts in is right.
its not like she's the last girl on the planet with symmetrical breasts and great skin
Apparently I blacked out and pissed all over the sliding glass door from the inside, as everyone watched from the outside helplessly....
I can now tell my grandchildren Central Park has really great spots for quickies...
I wonder if they have a "21st birthday" section in the hospital..
Today, my boyfriend informed me that I look like my dad when I orgasm
Not blacking out at our finals party is my Everest
I'd like to request an "its my birthday discount", and for you to bartend shirtless tonight ;)
Oh shit. My drunken car sex is on Google Earth.
I need to pay that drinking in public ticket, but I also really want to get a spray tan next week... so priorities.
my star wars tattoo got me laid last night. definitely a dark side sort of benefit im thinking
The album on my phone containing gross pictures to send when boys ask for nudes is now substantially larger than my normal photo album. Because I send one every night
His new girl is probably classy and boring. I bet she doesn't feed him sour patch kids while she wiggles his weiner.
she started chasing me through the forest like a horny serial killer
Details are irrelevant. Come bail me out of jail.
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