I'm way too drunk on a Sunday to handle this level of Jesus.
Sarah Palin is going to have a show on the discovery channel...Can I get a moment of silence for knowledge?
just heard someone say they saw a guy puke while riding a bike across campus without stopping
If I start taking birth control 8 days after we had sex do you think it'll stop the baby from being made?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just wanna let u know that we are almost on the pity blow job level of our friendship.
Was just told that I was slipped 2 hits of acid in my in flight drink before takeoff. 8 hours to Germany wish me luck
I think I'm about to have sex with a second person before noon hehehhe! You're welcome America.
I. Put. Them. Back. We are NOT making a habit of jail visits.
I'm in a dress, surrounded by Republicans, and the bartender just told me he's "out of Jack Daniels" in a very accusatory tone. Shit, is it only 8 PM?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
all my money is vodka money
I have never read a truer sentence.
I don't know if your celebrity crush has ever asked you for nudes, but it's fucking awesome
Okay so it turns out that my bf keeps a log of every time I sleep-fart. It's dated back to 2013.
And I got shut down by a ginger. It was a weird night
Is it weird that I'm mad at my boss because he isn't paying me enough attention? Maybe my dad issues are worse than I thought
it looks like a nuclear can of fuck blew up in here
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