I attract so much trash. The guy that is engaged and kissed me is here so is his fiancé. I feel likeshw knows and will cut me in the bathroom might happen. If I'm not at the pool tomorrow she has blonde hair and is really flat.
apparently "my dealer got arrested" is not an acceptable answer when mom asks "What happened? You look sad today"
Like if I don't roll around in my puke, the night will be a failure.
every time i wear that dress i get kicked out of a bar.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
can you blow me for old times sake
only for old times sake
There is nothing more demoralizing than exchanging 150 dollar Christmas gifts with a girl your not sleeping with
Someone just bought me a one liter long island and call me maybe is on. I'm going to die
He is currently pregaming mini golf. MINI GOLF.
We just took back to back grav bong hits and are playing battleship. She guessed Z - 12 so weve switched board games.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
What am I doing with my life
Sleeping with dudes who have peacocks apparently.
if i ever wake up in the morning and don't feel a boner in my asscrack then this relationship is over
A baby just tried to pull out his mom's huge tits at work today and nearly succeeded. I was silently cheering for the little guy.
Everyone keeps telling me I look so healthy and happy today: the power of the penis people!!
Apparently, the Mormons have taken over airports. I was told by a befuddled looking clerk I couldn't buy a beer with breakfast before 6am.
He totally sucks at sexting. He sent me a clothed shot of his ass captioned "I know this gets you going." What?
Randomize