Cut to me doing the walk of shame to work from a hotel.
Im watching he's just not that into you, eating way too much pizza, and feeling very single.
Midnight walks are trippy
I tried to do that earlier, but I was alone and scared, so I stole a happy Birthday balloon.
RAWRRRR IMA PURPLE DINO
dude i'm sitting right next to you.. stop texting me
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i told him i was sober and he walked away immediately.
My fight-or-flight response is really more fight-or-fuck
I need to hang out with girls who make more mistakes
he's drinking at 8 in the morning. it's going to be one of those "or else the terrorists have won" kinda days
Woke up with two cats staring at me. One covered in puke thats giving me a look that says it might be my fault. Where am I? Come get me.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just consider it? What else do you have going on today that could be as awesome as a day full of lord of the rings and sex?
I just realized that at some point last night I told someone I would only be friends with 16% of them because the other 84% stole my people's land
What exactly do I say to a random stoner hookup to thank him for ending my dry spell? Is it awkward to just say "Thanks for that. It was well needed."
He called me Kitten either just because or he figured out my old s&m life. Either way huge turn on.
you bleached my bangs. i have an interview later today and you assholes bleached my bangs.
It was like I was gay for pay but except being gay I became straight and instead of for pay it was for coke.
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