i don't like sucking hair
Just woke up and stopped at the WaWa in Virginia. Had major morning wood and didn't try to hide it when walking around. So many awkward stares.
A guy on the street just growled at me and said damnnnn. Sometimes it scares me how attractive i am.
He just kept muttering to himself "stabby stabby stabby stabby" while we were boning. I will never be boning him again.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just cleaned your Jaeger vomit off my car with a knife. Don't ever say I don't love you.
know what the best part about malls are? standing on the upper level and boob gazing
Yup, totally tried cooking bacon in the dryer last night.
It's like a new game! Find out if he's circumcised without actually seeing it
Running errands with mom, cool. Coming to pleasures with mom for her valentines night, not ever in a million years cool.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
On Wednesday I'm putting wine in a water bottle and crashing Margaret thatchers funeral
He gave me the "find somebody who wants to date you for who you are" speech while I walked around the house asking people for pants.
Like, I can't stand that bitch, but i genuinely hope she gets the help she needs
Should I put the money for my dealer in a Christmas card? You know, make it more frstive?
He's my blizzard buddy. We're blowing lines and doing a 3D game of thrones puzzle
Is this making any sense, because I’m puking and trying to be Philosophical right now
Randomize