I just walked in on my mom and dad......It wasn't my dad
She was sleeping without a shirt so I thought I wouldI sneaked a peek at her nipples..than I realized they were just warts...on her back.
I wanna dance tonight. i just wanna grind my ass in some man's dick.
Reason 37 booty call break ups suck: I literally could not find his house in the daytime.
And in my birthday dress, with my friends, i peed on myself in line for the club. Still went in and partied. I remember pieces
I'm in a bed full of sand, and also just took my contacts out. Whatever happened yesterday was great, I think.
She just pored wine down the turkeys hole and said that she christened it like the whore that it is...happy thanksgiving.
The things I do for you. Not that I'm unhappy about it. I'm just saying you should love me.
Did you sleep with him again?
No! I just led him to believe that I would if he gets me booze. Do I have that little class that you have such minimal faith in me?
I currently need breakfast in bed, morning sex, and a bourbon and diet coke. Make this happen
What does it say about my expectations if I'm pounding three beers the hour before a date?
I'm graduating college in 4 days. I already miss the bad decisions
Soooo you know how I said I was trying to be a rational adult? Well that led to me fucking a rational adult today.
And the next thing I knew I was blowing this random hot italian bartender with an uncircumcised penis in his work closet
Thanks for DJing my sex last night. You were on point 💜
He said he’s shouting let’s get this bread the first time we have sex...
He’s very straightforward
Randomize
