She's just bitter because she lost all the weight only to discover she doesn't have a pretty face after all.
He's paying me $45 to clean his room and $55 if i find the oxy that he lost.
Two girls I have never met just thumb wrestled to decide who gets to make out with me.
my little brother just asked me why i have handcuffs. How do I tell him that his sister likes being taken advantage of in the bedroom?
You can't have your penis and eat it, too.
Speaking of ejaculate, did you get the side of your car cleaned off?
She's using our floating beer pong table as an air mattress to sleep on.
you know it's gonna be a good 4/20 when you start saving up for it in january.
I can't in good conscience help you bag a Catholic girl who isn't at least a 7.
If we're single and alone together, the fuck angels shall sing upon our nude bodies.
I just googled: how soon can I pee on a stick. What is my life coming to.
He just ranted to some customer about fourth of July being ruined and I just shouted USA the whole time in the background. It was kinda epic
Dude I just realized i did a camper walk of shame in front of amish people. I should have asked for cheese and a home made pie to cover it up. Im just lost shopping in amish country nothing to see here
Idk... he wears anklets.. i dont think i can get past that.
His 89 y/o father walked in on us. Judging by the gasp/moan, I don't think the 1920s prepared him to see another dude inside his son.
Randomize
