Me hooking up with her is like rush being president. Bad news.
girls just need to accept the fact that i'm going to make out with their boyfriends
The nurse told me they're using the same medicine that killed michael jackson.
I walked into my room to see them crying, watching hey arnold, and passing a franzia box back and forth...
I'm not holding out much hope. She met me in a nighclub when I was arguing with the cigarette machine
Thanks in advance for a great weekend. Sorry your roommates are going to hate you after I leave. They need to loosen up anyways.
Curse you and your alcoholic milkshakes.
You're welcome.
constantly striving to make life awkward and more complicated, one drunk bone at a time.
And I was aware of my actions - that is not a penis I will say no to until I have a ring on my finger
Too lazy to make dinner. Had chocolate and scotch instead. Check in with me in a half hour.
Yeah. Just jump him. Naked. Claim his dick for yourself.
Just thought you should know I'm having a reunion tour of Athens this weekend. Minus the weird guy I was fucking last time.
My vagina has a heartbeat. That means I'm in love, right?
ELLEHCIM
NYRMAK
DRAHCIR
WHAT??
Am I the only person in the world that does not give a shit about the avengers?
Randomize
