now that im off birth control, the world is a much scarier place
Oh so it was one of those "I shouldn't have gotten in a cab with a random 21 year old girl" kinda nights.
Haha crisis adverted. Just told my dad I need to bone this guy. Nbd. He totes understands
Is there a fine for having sex in the back of a zipcar?
I called my dad at 3 a.m. because I thought he'd be proud that I didnt get arrested. Daddys little girl at her finest...
Just had a tv talk show interview in my mirror. Got into to some pretty heavy shit man, would have made good viewing.
hey, you wanna get together over coffee or something?
is this code for 'i just got broke up with and i need a sympathy dicking'?
how did you know?
The party went downhill once the fire department had to be called to put out the kitchen fire.
Be proud. All I did last night was roll around in my nun costume selling drugs. I love Halloween.
Also, lets remember that we have known each other for nearly a decade and our two most recent photos to one another are boxes of plan b
Wellp yesterday was spent absurdly hungover and today was spent in planned parenthood so I hope that's not an indication of the year to come
I wound up running down the street in 12 degree weather in just my bra and then fell asleep cuddling my bottle. You tell me how last night went.
The cat be actin like a 2:30 am poop is the time to tell me all about her thoughts and fears in life. No bitch, this is definitely alone time.
I am googling "notable people who had syphilis"
your mission the party friday: cockblock me at ALL costs. I've cheated on my boyfriend twice. I feel like three times would be crossing some sort of line...
and no, I don't care how how hot he is
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