Bitch is talking to much, howd u ever get her 2 shut up?
It's worth it.
How worth it?
Back door worth it
I wanna passion pit in your ass
@ a funeral. fucking miss uuuu
you are my new fav person for making him do the walk of shame in pink footie pajamas!
My parents just suggested that we tailgate the midnight christmas service. this is my gene pool.
I forgot not everyone drinks wine out of the bottle. My grandma just asked if i needed a glass with a disappointing look.
He whinnies like a horse when he's cumming. I wish I would have known this before we got into a relationship.
the potatoes in the margarita machine wasn't the breaking point. its when he turned on the stove and put a bunch of bottle rockets on it that i knew the night had prematurely failed
We enjoyed our moment of partial gayness together
Strike three, the fat brides maid they call shit puker also has herpes.
Diet Starts Tomorrow! Guy from McDonalds asked if I got a new car...
Why are we so great
Like I'm def going to a therapist but I wouldn't change a thing about us except maybe the peeing
All of my friends are hooking up and here I am, the lone asexual, looking for someone to eat these tostitos with me.
I don't have the resources to adequately explain this. I need like a Powerpoint presentation and also Vodka.
Bold words for someone NOT on a unicycle
Randomize
