People are allowed to visit it's just they can't be from Germany and have to wear masks.
and everytime i fart i feel like in your heart, you can hear it
I scrubbed the bathroom, smoked a bowl, and gave myself 3 orgasms. If the world ends today, I feel accomplished.
She trust falled out of a window. It was like that scene from A Little Princess but with a lot more blood.
Wearing the flip cup varsity team sweatshirt was the best descision of my life.
You beat him at the shot competition, and proceeded to rub it in while telling everyone to "ASK ME A MATH QUESTION!!!"
8:30 every morning in the third floor bathroom we fuck in the handicap stall. You have your morning workout and I have mine.
I think I should just accept my destiny that I'm going to be someone's second wife
My tits sealed my fate
I think I blacked out after I decided drinking alone on the trailered jetskis was a good idea
I just spent 12 consecutive hours in the same outfit and none of it was pajamas. If that's not personal growth, I don't know what is.
"I'm not drinking any more tonight." As I dipped my quesadilla in a shot of tequila....then eats it
It can't be Friday yet, in still getting friend requests of people I don't remember from last weekend
Last thing I remember I was riding on a picnic table being hauled around by a lawn mower with an empty case of bud light on my head...
Protip if he licks the back of your knee and you reflexively kick him your game of 'lick the lady' is over.
It’s just a penis. It’s like every other penis except it’s not the one you’re married to. Ride it or don’t ride it, but don’t agonize about it
Your not going to hell because you need some strange and the neighbor noticed you look damn good in a bikini
Randomize
