you know what i hate about salt? you can't see it.
Just write off about 10000+ brain cells and 6 months of your lifespan.
Sounds like a normal friday night
That's cause you yelled across the parking lot you wanted to eat her out
That's the second time in a week someone has called me to talk drunk you into getting up off the floor. This needs to stop.
Just saw pictures of a pregnant teen from my hometown with an American flag wrapped around her naked body posted on FB without irony. These are my roots.
Happiness is watching your asshole boss' police DUI video.
You straddled the banister and fell down the stairs, then proceeded to crawl back up them, I think you need to lay down
He sent me a picture of his dick saying "your throne my lady" for my birthday. He knows the way to my heart.
Drunk texting is the poetry of my life
You woke up, mumbled something about forgetting to lock the truck at work, slapped my ass, then passed out again...
How long have I been using my debit card as a coaster?
Is there anything more American than getting day drunk and watching Hulk Hogan promos?
Almost lost a vagina lip in the great shave of '16
I did crash a prom last night though.. It was fun
She was drunk running in the middle of the street when a cop saw her,picked her up and dropped her off at her house. This really doesn't surprise me.
Randomize
