Whssdazt areerg yiu up to? U thijk ur lame!
read your last text- its a foreign language-im not ignoring you, easyyy
The paper boy just woke me up in the front yard again.
Whatever is fine with me, as long as I am dressed in green and end up shitfaced.
You said "i miss him" not "i miss his dick." You're getting emotionally attatched. Shame.
I fatbooth all their pics then decide which one is the cutest even if they gained like 400 lbs and then proceed to fuck him.
what are we doing this weekend?
I have enough booze to get us through Armageddon...which basically means that on Sunday we will have to make a trip to the liquor store.
Well, it was good.. One step forward for my vaj.. One giant leap backwards for my integrity.
The cab driver just showed us a POV shot of himself getting ridden by a chick he took with his flip phone. Confirmed not taken in cab. Gonna be a good night...
The yoga party turned into an underwear party because we are all incompetent when it comes to tying bed sheets.
This has been a Party Success Story
I don't know what to say to that. All I know is my vagina is trying to jump through the phone.
Shower sex is an art that should not be attemted drunk
Just bought weed from the ice cream man. The kid in front of me got a tootie fruitie.
Oh and yeah that does count as public urination.
She gave me a collar. When I asked what this was for she replied "I'm taming your dick"
I want you to defile me in my childhood bed.
Randomize
