we are all sexual creatures
yea maybe. but you're not. you're not getting any.
i just opened the overnight bag i packed at 2am last night. Apparently all i thought id need was a handful of quarters, mascara and one sock
apparently 20 random guys watched the process of me being carried on a mattress through the dorms
she's sitting in the bathroom of SA telling people to come in for a toilet ride
He broke hus nose arm jousting with the traffic cones... We need to make head shots illegal or get helmets or something
sleeping in bed with your booty calls married sister...you're the stuff heroes are made of.
The date officially concluded on the phrase "Nosh dat vag".
Definitely just realized I wore a shirt that says "building leaders for Christ" to a hookup. Roll tide.
no body wants to do anything today cause it's too cold, but a guy can only masturbate so many times a day. Ya know
I may or may not have hooked up with the cop who arrested me.. Or I can cross hooking up with a stripper in a cop outfit off my bucket list.
day drinking caused me to be in bed at a decent time. can't complain.
Don't go to jail over some guy named Bunky
I can't. I mean he's hot, but there's really nothing else there
You just said he's hot
NO YOU DON'T UNDERSTAND
You know what i hate? I hate when the ppl you drunkenly made out with actually want to talk to you sober. It just doesn't work that way sir.
When we started the night I was in zebra wedges & she was in my black boots... I woke up wearing pink flip flops & the mirror on my rental is fuxked up. Wtf happened last night?
Randomize
