it makes more sense than having a misplaced asshole
im not talking about this
Well, think of it this way, if this were 200 years ago your father would have received the most goats in all the village for your fertile loins. Think about that.
Will you come get her? She's trying to get the pizza guy into the bathtub.
Those mornings you wake up with a Barbie tramp stamp are the mornings that are the that are going to make me miss this place
We've only been here for 15 hours and our names are already on 2 separate police reports. We've also been given our "final warning" by the cops and hotel management.
Our apt smells like hot shit marinated in oregano and cumin. No more taco truck dinner, fuck face. The wall paper is peeling.
He told me that his greatest skill was making White Russians.
I need to immerse myself in a tub of peroxide to kill whatever traces of him are on me.
You just sat there staring at your apple and saying "I'm so glad you're here" to it every time you took a bite.
I know. I'm a saint. Saint of sitting on faces.
TFW YOU ACCIDENTALLY SEND A MEME ABOUT LIKING ANAL TO THE GROUP CHAT. JESUS FUCKING CHRIST, WHAT IS WRONG WITH ME?
Me-World Problems: do I have my boyfriend come to my birthday party in drag, or is that too weird for the first time meeting literally any of my friends
After last night I am convinced that you are the human embodiment of alcoholism and bad decisions.
Why r u in my phone under "the last survivor"?
We still on for Manwhore Monday?
Randomize
