and my herpes radar will keep us safe
what do people who dont have blackberrys do while they poop?
my brother walked in while we were fucking, silently took my bong from my closet, saluted us and walked out.
I'm too hungover to be in a fucking cow suit right now
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I had a dream about a turtle sitting on top of a horse skull. I'm certain its a symbol for my dead sex life. Trust me.
She has puke in her hair, is missing a shoe and is now crying. People trust her to be their child's teacher
Well I consider my vagina a dear friend. She treats me good I treat her good. We work together. Glad we could be of service.
It's surprise blowjob week. You should be excited.
I heard that clinking noise from behind me and I already knew you were whipping out a Smirnoff in class. Again.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I woke up with his condom in my mouth. I actually use them now you should be proud of me.
Ladies and gentlemen, the only person I know who would keg stand in pearls and a bow.
All I want to do is shower, but there is a keg in there.
One day, I might be old and married wishing I could bang everyone... and that'll be a problem. So I feel in my heart it's something I need to do.
Alone, in the dark, eating tacos and drinking vodka. Who's apartment is this?
Turns out naked twister is less fun than it sounds. I can never look Lee in the eye again. But Aimee's boobs are glorious.
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