I used to have a blog that was basically all about ****** and all of his sexual misadventures
I mean it made tucker max look like a fucking alterboy
But unfortunatley his mom did a google search and found it
awww and there was just a proposal on stage with the pussycat dolls !!!!!
Did someone propose they get off the stage?
She made me go with her to get a pregnancy test since she's missed a few birth control pills. She made me park in the "expectant mothers" spot at CVS and preceded to ask if it would be in the pest control section.
he just booty called me in advance instead of waiting til 3 am when hes trashed. i think thats really considerate and gentlemanlike.
I was just on craigslist and saw and ad for a naked yoga instructor. I will no longer be jobless.
Sorry blacked out and lost my phone. Judging by the looks of my body I fought a cat and fell into a bush.
He left my apartment when I broke up with him just as my booty call was walking in. It was a little awkward...
I feel like our relationship should have moved on from you constantly asking if I'm gay
Cutting up lines with the edge of my birth control packet. Just reminding you this is the person you've CHOSEN to be monogamous with.
He lit a candle for the mood and ended up lighting my hair on fire while we were hooking up...moodkiller
I had the bathroom of girls sing you happy birthday while you puked. I couldn't stop laughing. They were all so supportive
HE WILL NEVER BE ONE OF US. HE WILL NEVER BE A DECENT, GOD-FEARING WHORE.
I mean, she's batshit insane and once choked a guy with one hand but she's still MILF material in my book.
I watched one of the videos of you hanging from the rafters, and it is both violent and sexual in nature.
I called to inform you I may or may not be getting laid tonight ...
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