Not only do prius' look terrible they are terrible to have sex in
I'm thinking I had intended to send you pics cuz I woke up naked
Nicee. Atleast your phone doesn't change pen in to PENISsSSSSSSS like mine does
you said you wanted to feel how much my penis weighed for educational purposes
This costume is too restrictive. The priest and I cannot get it on while I am wearing it.
You is good. You is important. You is a slut.
Naw. I'm tired and I'd have to shave my legs. I doubt the sex or the company would be worth it.
I broke my foot jumping out of YOUR window under YOUR watch. You failed me drunk guardian. You failed.
You literally chaperoned my booty call.
I'm only bisexual one week out of the month. Nothing like ovulation hormones to make the genders of my hookups seem completely irrelevant.
Goodnight Shia. Goodnight Moon.
I learned a valuable lesson about combining day drinking with malt liquor: you may think you have super powers, but that's just the Steel Reserve talking.
My dog and I just went outside to pee together.
So many questions...the two most important are, where the fuck is my booze and how did you even get the couch through the door?
It’s Sunday Funday! Stop watching football and bring your penis over here. There will be plenty of scoring!
Randomize
