Dude I got a text from you at 1:30 last night and you didn't use any vowels
Haha, I didn't want to buy any... we're in a recession you know
so i was creeping on him today and there was like nothing new except he became a fan of getting dome
i wish i could be like. "i like giving dome, lets be friends"
I wish there was a facebook app that filtered my notifications to show only the ones having to do with people who'll fuck me.
already putting money aside for 4/20. you ready for the greatest tuesday ever?
being alone eating nachos and drinking from a giant munchen beermug really isnt that sad
"Shots" of grape juice. I fucking hate Utah soooo fucking much.
It's just good to know that when I drink like a twenty year old I still act like one.
I've got beer and a bag of saltwater taffy and croutons, is that enough for this typhoon thing?
Just gave a blow job while wearing a shirt that says 'world's coolest mom' idk how my conscience feels...
Cheers to being single today. There's an entire box of franzia with my name on it.
Tequila Tuesday.. tonight is the night I defeat the liquor.
I have class at 8:30 and I am not bailing you out of the drunk tank again.
Cause I'll toss Tabasco sauce in his eyes and yell "Cobra attack" and walk away
I just want to have sex that doesn't end like a B-rated horror movie.
I mean I faked it but he could answer my texts
I just brought her a lipstick taser. So just remember that the next time you get smart with her
Randomize
