he recorded me cumming with the t-pain app on his iphone
imagine playing with puppies while we're drunk.
Like... we could film it and put like, "do you believe in magic" as the backround song and it would be complete joy.
Hooked up with an Aussie chick last night only an Indonesian chick away from completing my lap around the pacific rim
I've been ignoring his texts cause last night I put him in my phone as 'ignore for atleast a day' and I trust my drunk self.
I am expending an amazing amount of energy to not throw up right now
If we can put a man on the moon, I'm sure we can turn a pringles can into a bong.
Body paints and jello. Your canvas awaits
Another sexterpiece awaits
Yeah I remember doing the worm in my moms room. While she's yelling at me and I'm making seagull nooises
I had to puke in a ditch beside a cow pasture and like 50 cows just stood there and watched. I could feel the judgment.
We're about to play the try not to vom at the president's house game...
WAIT MOM THIS DOESNT NEED TO BE A FAMILY EVENT OK AARON DOESNT NEED TO BE AROUND FOR NIPPLEGATE 2014
Look I'm really hungover so let's try this again. In 5 mins you're gonna call me and tell me that you're on your way with xannies, iced coffee and a back rub
we've never stayed at a party for more than an hour. we always end up at a pizzaria. by ourselves. with no friends.
what else are best friends for?
He's such a jerk. If only his penis was attached to someone else
The only thing good about being back at work is the lunch time hand jobs from the MILF
Randomize
