he looked about as manly as a guy in a volkswagen bug can look
I don't apprectiate you insinuating that my breasts have a sort of bremuda triangle effect
what made you think it was a good idea to trust the girl that hides tequila in her backpack?
A chick at the bar last night took my black berry, looked at my Brick Breaker score and told me she couldnt take someone that has a lower score than her seriously.
His dick was poking my bladder. That big...
chugging beers on the train. people are staring. I would be offended if it wasn't 8:30
There was an ice luge. Lets just leave it at that.
he ate me out like he was chugging a beer.
Yeah... I still gave her a hug because I felt really bad though. I mentioned that my boyfriends grandma just died too, just to reinforce that I'm straight afterwards.
The only times girls talk to me at clubs is when they're asking if I'm okay when I'm puking outside. Or if it's a tranny
Just because the energy drink is shaped like a grenade doesnt make it cool to throw it and yell "BOOM" and break my flatscreen, asshole
I woke up the whole house screaming I need my shorts they found me in the kitchen with a bag of strawberries naked
He asked me to come stay with him so he could "see that ass and watch Harry Potter."
Hell no. Last time I used a Slip N Slide I ended up with bruised ribs, a broken fence and the hatred of a half naked girl with a sprained wrist.
I just made out with his twin, technically it's the same person..... Right?
Randomize
