I am currently trying to use a tide to go pen to remove the jizz from my backseat, it's not working...
The university put out a message about those missing salt and pepper shakers... You should at least give back 60 of them.
I had fun last night. We should have sex less often.
i just overheard a girl at the next table saying she gave up sex for lent
don't you ever do that...
She told me she cured her bulemia by popping hydrocodone after she ate. that way she would be rewarded for not puking. I like the way she thinks
He texted back and said he would hook up if he didn't have a test at 8am. It's really hard to be annoyed by how good of a student he is.
Yeah that sucks. That's why I stick to deadbeat sports management majors.
I may not have eyeballs after all the drunk naked people having sex outside.
You BETTER NOT STEAL MY MOTHERFUCKING SQUIRREL
James this is colleen. This is my new number. You just texted my grandma about getting cockblocked. Congratulations.
I found a half composed text to you this morning and all it said was HELP M. Is that how I ended up at the bottom of the stairwell in only a tee-shirt and one heel?
considering I never received the text I would go with 'yes'.
I just replaced the poop spray with an air horn... Now we wait!
I need to go back to work. I've had so much sex since the shutdown started. last night we tried and a little flag came out saying "nothing is left in here try a week later"
Major life highlight, she said my dick taste like coffee.
And let me tell you, getting your ass waxed is the weirdest fucking experience.
If you fuck her..... You will be in great danger. Like in so much danger it would be like walking into a pit of crocodiles who haven't eaten and you also just stole their baby.
Randomize
