filled out health questionnaire for lower premiums a little bit too honestly. Literally got assigned a life coach.
you kept screaming i cant feel my vagina, it kinda killed the mood.
Girl farted next to me in class and then denied my high five
thinking back, the fact that our bartender was missing a finger shouldve been hint number one not to let him pick our drinks
She just cut the six pack plastic up and screamed "save the dolphins"..she also threw away cans of tuna. I like this girl.
How sad is it that I'm looking in the farm & garden section of craigslist to find a weed dealer. I mean, that's where they'd be right? Just gotta break the code.
I'm doing blow on my fuzzy rug
Come join me
Beer acquired. Food is cooking
Wow, you are almost sliding into home plate for some stellar fellatio
in the future when you find clothing in your street, just assume it's mine.
You slid down a wall, tried to pull your cast off and yelled that casts were too conformist.
It's dollar drink night and I have my honors society initiation tomorrow. Somehow I think this will not end well.
And as drunk as I was I was able to show my mom how to make text italicized in Microsoft word
just had a woman ask me to donate my eggs so that her baby could look like me. don't know whether to get a restraining order or be flattered. thoughts?
Wandering around the streets of Baltimore at two in the afternoon. Just offered a job as a stripper. Think I should accept?
Try an internship first, see if you enjoy it.
Ahhh, the bane of our relationship.... His mediocre penis
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