Whenever I said your name you screamed polo and did another shot.
Just look for the house with the beer knights.
I'll try not to. I have an appointment at the hospital tomorrow so my goal is to wake up there.
And by "got a tattoo" i mean i got a tattoo in the dorm bathrooms with a guy using his cousin's tattoo gun.
bro, sorry for: trying to put you on fire yesterday, telling the bouncer that it was you that broke the bottles, and to have slept with your sister.
Tornado booty call.. dedication
her vagina just converted me to Judaism.
I just stabbed open a can of Spaghetti Os with a spork. Who says I cant take care of myself?
The waitress at the airport bar just asked me if I wanted a "to go" beer, hahahahaha OF COURSE I WANT A TO GO BEER.
I found out that rock climbing and alcohol does not go together. Ask my broken arm.
He used the term 'cock-staggering' in an email. So needless to say things are going pretty well.
Also, there's definitely not a non-hilarious way to ask to stick something up your butt.
College is really paying off. I am gonna be a great teacher. I just made a grading sheet for weed. This shit got an A.
Just showered and cleaned every bit of sex off of me cuz i have a feelin my stepmom has jesus powers and would be able to smell it on me
We still on for Manwhore Monday?
Randomize
