We walked 2 miles, legit 2 miles, and purchased 7 half gallons. One for each of us. Intense
Where are you? I just made a vodka + cranberry & I’m going to drive there & throw it in your face
Well I think that's a good thing that I'm not full of someone else.
does my mom think that having an ed hardy lighter is going to get her laid?
Then I received a text in French, that roughly translated to "all you'll ever be good for is sex on the Internet"
Kinda wish I banged him. I need the exercise.
It only takes once for you to drunkly piss on a chick for her to lose interest in you.
I like to think of it as a lesbian feast.
My mom just admitted you were a good looking kid & if you weren't my friend & 30 years older she would do you. I'm going to commit suicide.
I just want you to know that I hid the weed. Once you find another job, I'll tell you where it is. Happy Hunting, bro.
Found a grenade pin. Still no Dave.
He spent like 5 minutes figuring out how best to position me so I would still be able to watch the game. Maybe there is a benefit to dating a guy who cares about me but doesn't care about my team.
Pretty sure this is the part where you go buy a ring.
I just saw someone dressed as a bear leave your house on a motorcycle. I guess you guys are having a good time.
In Texas. Drank way too much wine. Puked in a gallon zip lock bag. Passed out at 445 with the ENTIRE family here. Got up at 745 in time for dinner. I made you proud!!!
I just saw a girl on the phone crying and eating a sandwich. Thats talent right there.
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