I'm home now. bring me food and boobies
i have absolutely no control over my now miserable and whore-ish lifestyle.
Oh, I made pasta salad in the throw up bowl. I hope you don't need that for the next few days.
Im going to need an iv of taco bell after this.
When She took off her bra.... A tube of lipgloss, her phone, I.D. And a wad of twenties fell out.... I'm officially no longer a butt man
How many layers of skin can you loose before it becomes bad?
Look. I've got things to do today.. Will you hurry up and come over so I can give you some head and get my day started already
Outside
Of course I'll be there. I never miss an opportunity to smell like cigarettes, cheap beer, and shame.
And I just want you to know I got myself into this mess. I gotta get myself out. Plus, don't you only need one kidney?
Youre having a picnic
Yeah but all we have is vodka, so it's getting a bit out of hand.
When a guy invites you to dinner and breakfast the next day it's implied that he's going to make some sweet loving in betwixt correct?
It's always appealing to be able to say to someone "I banged your mom"
Well I'm back. Could you fill me in on what I missed?
You don't want to know. Trust me.
how does that bad decision feel?
Nothing will ever be as awkward as looking my mother in the eye and talking to her while I have a dick inside me. Time for a lock on my door.
Randomize
