i just saw someone crawling up the stairs to the dorm while screaming "i have the best vagina!"
your cum blends into my yellow sheets :/
my summer class's final was canceled bc it interfered with the world cup. he is giving us all A's on it. I love europe
her facebook pictures are like a timeline of all the guys she's screwed.
I'm pretty sure that I'm earning a horrible reputation with your friends, but I'm having a fucking great time in the process.
Dude, I went home and roller-bladed into her bedroom so I didn't have a 'walk' or shame in the morning..I wouldn't talk to her unless she refereed to me as Brink
I think my hand is broken. But his nose definitely is
Hey so when you left last night was i wearing shoes?
every time someone would wish me happy birthday I would be like "thanks happy birthday to you too"
Every time you talk about your facial hair I immedately get horny
Your uterus is safe from my father's misconstrued prophecies.
What have I told you about trying to use Jesus as your wingman?!
I'll just tell you, some how when we were having sex on Friday my collarbone got fractured.
There are condoms rolled onto each bunny ear of the ears I was wearing last night
Once someone takes a shit in your toilet they are no longer a guest.
Randomize
