After we had sex, she played this little piggy with my toes
They both told everyone they fell in a mud puddle
Oh they definetly fell in the mud, repeatedly, on top of each other
Although, to be fair, I am both willing and going to lick marshmallow fluff off of your dick.
she asked to have her picture taken with every guy we walked by.
just letting you know that jen either: wasn't feeling well and ate grass to make herself throw up or threw up because she's stupid and ate grass
Listen, don't freak out when you walk out on me masturbating in front of my roommate. No homo. He just needs to be put to his place.
We opted you as the sacrificial dick tonight. We need our patron cafe. Go make some moves.
Just got a groupon for a segway rental: fireworks segway battle at my house. What say you?
My usual answer of have sex with it doesn't work in this situation
whats our policy on dating high schoolers?
we dont have a policy but im pretty sure the state of michigan does
He's against "violent sex" cause apparently my body is "sacred". Like dude I'm about to tell you about blowing your brother just so you'll fuck me like an animal Jesus Christ....
Negotiating with my body. We're ok. Violent upheaval is not necessary.
I realize designer coke was a douchey thing to say but the point of the story is I did bath salts
So why are your hands bright blue and have you seen my roommate.
Both questions will answer each other.
It’s only loud for those who wanna get loud. The bowlers are protected.
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