I hate all girls vehemently.
Just so we both are on the same page, I have no solid plans as to where I'll be sleeping tonight.
I am the drunkest girl in the tree.
On the quad today: An amish choir singing something weird, and not 30 feet away 3 girls tanning topless. Definition of diversity.
We are the drunkest people in Toys R' Us right now
battery dying...get laid and text me after...or during...its whatever.
Dude give me 4 good reasons we shouldn't trade girlfriends tonight
maybe i'll make good life choices and keep my legs closed. periodically txt me friday and saturday night saying "baby carrot round 2" that should stop me.
The guy I wanted to make out with just got beat up, let's roll.
Hi Jessica this is Jessica and I am texting you and were taking lime shots and it's fantastic and I broke your elbow and I love you xo
Just consider it? What else do you have going on today that could be as awesome as a day full of lord of the rings and sex?
And THIS is why we get drunk. No good story, documentation, or event happens by eating a salad. Alcohol consumption leads to good things
And my coffee table looks like something out of Scarface
I gave a handjob to the beat of uptown fuck last night
If I had your ass I would rule the world
Randomize
