He kept starring at my ass and repeating "Its Just a beautiful piece of artwork."
I don't think a check that has "thx for the drugs" on the note is really gonna fly.
I'm chugging Gatorade because i drank something called a trashcan and someone named Gianna diamond has my credit card number, and I think I might have ruined my life.
I dont even care how hung over I am, and how shitty this bus ride will be. That was the best sex of my life and it's a beautiful morning.
It's fine...I've done worse things to better people.
He brought me breakfast in bed after our one night stand. Beer and Cheerios I may come back to this place
Come now. I'm bloody but I'll give you the best fuck of your life.
But I got head on a boat yesterday which was sweet until a bald eagle flew over. Then it became life affirming.
Definitely went down on him last night while he was wearing a cape. He randomly kept swirling it around me and "revealing me" in the mirror like a magic trick. I'm not even a little upset, it's fun fucking younger guys.
He just turned down phone sex for hockey and I'm so relieved I'm fucking a straight guy that I'm barely even mad
Hey.... can you explain to me why when I woke up this morning my cell phone background had been changed to me getting a piggy back ride from a drag queen?
Having random cyber sex while watching to catch a predator just seems wrong.
no i'm going to the dr today, he fucking banshee-shrieked in my ear as he was coming and now i can't hear out of it
Woke up with a throbbing vagina and a lesbian in my bed. Then for the hell of it we had morning sex. Definitley bisexual now
Listen all I know is that mistakes were made and she stole the car and drove half an hour for food at 4 am
Randomize
