if there is a rhyme for it it must be true
took out my tampon, fucked him, and put a new one back in all before he realized I was on my period. beat that one bitch.
Have you ever seen a midget fist pump? BEST. THING. EVERRRRR.
We told our cab driver we'd give him 3 grand if he pit maneuvered you guys in your cab.
She refuses to believe she pulled down her pants and spanked her ass in front of us
Chilling. The soap was talking at one point if I rememeber right...
....I feel like you are deciding whether or not I'm good enough for you based on what I ordered from Chipotle.
I love you. We're gonna celebrate your 21st by putting people in duct tape bikinis and pushing them down tequila slip and slides
It's Breast Cancer Awareness Month!!!! What random hook up should check my tata's this year?!?!
Seriously, why do I have a mortar round?
sending my old camp counselor nudes. childhood memory win or new low?
It's a lot harder to work after sex than it is to work drunk... just saying.
If I ever drink whiskey again make sure I don't eat the plastic cups that I'm drinking them from.
I still have that dildo-suction bruise on my forehead and this sweater STILL smells like my Christmas Eve vomit.
Wow you are like a taller more attractive sex Yoda.
Randomize
