We had sex in his tahoe, talked about how we don't love each other and then high fived twice. Best Day Ever
Our relationship just reached the stage where i can touch her boobs while making a honking noise without getting hit in the face
and do you remember when you were dressing me if i had money in my bra?
How can you turn a kayak date down? I'M TALKING RIVER HEAD HERE.
He just told me he's been drinking vodka at work all day. I'm starting to believe in soul mates.
I obviously couldn't but this on your fbook wall. I would get judge. I would willingly get tbagged by him. You can quote me on that.
you were telling us about the time you had sex in an alley and he stopped, looked up and said 'it was a cul-de-sac' and went right back to what he was doing.
I have to take a quiz before midnight. Trying to decided if its a better idea to take it now when I'm stoned or later when I'm drunk.
The guy I'm talking to drunk texted me his essay last night and he asked me to revise it
Although can we find me a starter dick? I don't want security showing up again. That was awkward.
It's something you'd find in the room outside of Ben Carson's sex dungeon
How do you know i dont look like i got attacked by a weedwacker on bath salts?
Last night I realized my life is an experiment of really bad decisions when I had to leave without my underwear. But at least I'm expanding my life experience.
We were high and the scary movies were scaring us too bad. Were all watching porn instead now
we went outside for a smoke and when we came back in you were ptfo on the floor holding the phone to your ear. Pizza pizza was on the line.
Randomize
