During sex he started singing that song in Forgetting Sarah Marshall--"Inside of You"--by Russell Brand
I un-blacked out around 7am watching J.lo videos on youtube
I am wasted and people are fist pumping. This should not happen on the west coast.
you know that saying beer then liquer makes you sicker, it should be beer then pickles makes you throw up alot, everywhere.
pre-gaming in the library. just gonna keep going until i'm too drunk to keep working and then i'll be there.
Bone him for me, BONE HIM TWICE FOR ME.
Can you work for me at 4? We might have just taken some drugs we found in the couch and... end of story
The "don't have sex with him again" alerts you set on my phone just started going off.
Good. "Seriously, don't do it" should start in about five minutes.
You know you can't live off of vodka and pizza rolls forever
I'VE ALREADY MADE MY CHOICE
I don't know which I need first...a shower or a confessional.
I know I'm going to throw up tonight it's just a matter of when and where
Is it okay that we fucked on my car hood, in his driveway, at 4 am with cars passing by ?
You know tonight's gonna be a good night when your already planning on sleeping in a trunk
I think I won an award for shitting and vomiting at the same time.
It doesn't matter how nice the shirt you wore to the bar was, you still shouldn't have worn it to a job interview
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