There is an asian family here, I heard the mom call her son onyong
You gave him your vagina and this is what I get in return? This is bullshit!
Now i know why people get high. I sat in the same chair for about 3 hours and the only thing i worried about was how far away my chinese food was.
then you put baby powder on the bottom of your feet and walked to your room so "ladies would follow the footprints"
and then you yelled "out of the way, i'm a lifeguard!" and everyone let us through
You owe me $8 for the carwash I needed after you threw the salmon on my windshield.
We are getting high tomorrow and being statues at the cafeteria. Come find us.
Omg one side of my Labia is asleep. Has that ever happened to you?
Please keep in mind you are asking relationship advice from a girl who fucked a guy just because we have the same name. Just keep that in mind.
I am at a new level of appreciation for drunk-you, who threw up into her own sweatshirt pocket last night in the car. Brava.
i don't remember much about your party last weekend but i remember you being so drunk you were crying in your driveway about pickles at four am
Totally just made a post sex emergency cupcake run. My life is awesome.
My diet fell off the wagon when I began texting the pizza delivery guy my location on frat row.
Ugh. I need to go to the store, but I'm too lazy. Whatever shall I do? That girls still passed out. I should steal her car
i woke up to drewlling on a plate of eggrolls half naked halfway between my bed and the floor, and i have no idea where my pants went
Randomize
