My favorite part of our friendship is your tits.
This is so stupid. Now I have to call the party planner and tell her that the break up party is off. They decided to get back together.
He barely got in the door before she began to shriek like a banshee and punch him. His rainbow wig is still hanging from the front porch as a "warning to all other clowns".
I like to think I'd be good at dodging genitalia.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Thanks for walking over, a conversation about David Bowie's dick as a muppet is exactly what my day was missing.
His roommates came in and started a dance party in his room while we were having sex. He said it wasnt the first time.
I went limp when I heard her mom fart from her parents bedroom. It lasted longer than my hard on.
Oh god now he thinks I'm into him because I've been staring at him trying to figure out what animal he looked like
Her instagram is literally selfies, cats, and guys she's fucked.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
In order to save time, dignity and liver damage, wanna get naked?
It's all fun and games until you rupture a testicle
I shaved my entire vagina for a man who had the personality of a potato and a C- orgasm. Life is a series of disappointments.
In fairness you've introduced me to a lot of people I've only met once, for like 5 seconds, while drunk
You shouted "my financial aid just came in, who wants a shot?!" Half the bar followed
I'm not fucking you with a Stormtrooper helmet on!
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