His room was full of guns. It was like having sex with Clint Eastwood.
Come find me please? Im in a ditch.
That doesn't help me much...
I'm right under the moon!
I think I've officially made out with the entire starbucks staff.
I don't care if he's straight, his cock will be in my mouth by midnight. Like a closeted Cinderella.
So my mom and I were talking about what I should get you for christmas. She made it clear I cannot get christmas lingerie.
I want what they have, but in the meantime I have a whole bottle of rum to which I'm quite devoted
that man is just a bundle of powerful magic and poor judgment
you got coffee,laid,and a sandwich. that never happens when I work
I just got nudes while talking in the third person. Not sure if I Should be proud or ashamed.
Dude, you got arrested for trying to direct traffic with your dick....
The guy whose house were at is drunkenly reading green eggs and ham to us in German
she's always on high-alert for lesbians
Okay, let's just all take a step back and think about how funny this will seem in like a year... Maybe 2 if his nose is actually broken.
I gotta do like a month's worth of catch-up personal hygiene today in prep for Christmas so extended family doesn't ask if I'm depressed.
So...I know we have a conversation later this week. But one of the key things I want to know is if I can specify having my body mummified and buried in Egypt (or at least nearby the Luxor in Vegas). How much money do you think that would cost? Do I need to increase my life insurance policy?
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