I created a new tequila drink. it is a mix of excitement and fear instilled in innocent people.
At a stoplight watching a woman push groceries in a stroller while dodging oncoming traffic... Reallllly Detroit?
whatever. i fb stalked him and his pic comments are witty. so i'm going for it.
She helped me organize my comics and then blew me. This is the one.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
dude there's automatic no homos on brad Pitt and Leonardo dicaprio. Everyone knows that
Just had to explain my "wine me. Dine me. Sixty-nine me" key chain to my grandma...she took it surprisingly well.
I know. She seems like she getting that "need some dick" restlessness. Might explain the feisty attitude
He told me the color of his piss. Worst. First date. Ever.
I world jack off literally anyone now that I'm not related to.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
When he wears his hair down and sandals, he looks like Jesus. A Jesus I would fuck.
That's not what Jesus is for
We got hammered last night and I woke up this morning with texts from 'iron maiden chick.' wtf?
They live across the street from a school baseball field so they have porter potties across the street and let's just say that I'm grateful they exist
I DONT WANT YOUR DICK. I WANT BRUNCH.
Omg. I meet up with you guys with bodily fluids on my chin ONE time and suddenly I'm a whore.
I woke up and he already had a joint rolled waiting next to the bed. Love.
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